HOT
APP
STORIES
QUIZZES
DISCOVER
MEMES
EMOJI
More
CREATE STORIES
DAILY
DISCOVER
PHRASES
NUDGE CLIPS
CONTENT REQUEST
LOGIN
HOT
APP
STORIES
QUIZZES
MEMES
EMOJI
STORY
DAILY
PHRASES
DISCOVER
NUDGE CLIPS
REQUEST CONTENT
×
Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
LAUGHS]
What? it's only 9:15.
Oh, great. So, what am I supposed to do?
- What if we hit a massage parlor? - No way. That is giving up.
So could you?
No, I'll be all right. it's probably just this stupid patch.
- That's a nice moment. - Yeah.
Oh, great.
Now, that's my girl.
I never said alone. My boyfriend and his roommates are down there.
CockGobblers.com
I know you got a tough job. I can relate.
Go in there and take care of that woman. You're lucky to have her.
lol
Wow. This is awkward. I feel like I'm at my first junior-high mixer. You know?
- I love you too, Fred. - Oh, God.
Let's get the creative juices flowing.
I was wondering, um ....
Look, no offense or anything, but let's face it. You're a lot older than me.
I mean, I know it's kind of hard to understand after ....
Yeah.
...instead of bringing girls back to your home with the kids' pictures all taped up.
Yeah, I had to go in when I got a bunch of tests done for my life insurance.
Go, go, go!
...and she left, like, a little pool of drool...
- ...to make her look like a 10. - What are you talking about? She is a 10.
Excuse me.
It's where I lost my virginity.
...who really wants to be with me...
So we saw you guys sitting up there with those kids. Are you nannies or something?
- Shake it, shake it, shake it - Like a tambourine
Licky my sticky
If we can't show something positive can come from having a hall pass...
Conversely, if you remove the taboo, you remove the obsession.
She used to play house. You bought her a house.
...they are so paralyzed with fear they bolt back into the house.
LAUGHS]
TRUMP 2020
- Great. - I'll go round up the kids.
Plus bus fare.
And then I did. It was, like, a long shot.
No, no. Do me a favor. Irish, switch places with this guy.
fghfdgdggdfgd gfgdgsfsgsfd
Ch.
Yeah. You out celebrating?
Where was the last place you saw it?
I 'll fall for you, I 'll fall for you I 'll fall for you
Meatbox in heaven
Hmm.
You know, Grace conked out right when we got home...
I do that all the time.
Hey, hey, put me down for 7500.
Yeah, there she goes.
It's not the same as when you smoke it.
You drank when you were in college.
- You're welcome. - And you think I'm gonna fuck you...
I saw it on the 11th tee. That's the last I saw it.
Stootfish?
I know you and her are hooking up.
And the good things twice.
It'd be like Hugh Hefner and his girlfriends.
Hmm. You wanna get a coffee afterwards?
Oh, hey! Betsy Ross! You need a pole for that flag?
It's one thing if you wanna look like Admiral Dipshit...
Hey.
- Oh. Come on. Yes, you do. Yes, you do. - Oh, come on.
She's gonna be a mouth breather for about a week.
Pshh.
...hump them, Stretch Armstrong, just bibbety-bap them all around.
I'll tell you what it is.
Amazingly, our plan worked.
It's me. it's Snow Patrol.
- He's the coach. - Hey. Hi.
- Not. - Oh, my God.
No. He can't. He has two houses closing escrow this week. He has to be in town.
Okay, but we're not talking about cats here. We are talking about dogs.
I say we, uh, tie a bow on it and put it to Bed ACHE School of OT
...and large-mouth vaginae?
- Yeah. - Heartburn?
- Yeah. - No. We have to get the kids home.
- Go, go. Punch it. Punch it. - I'm going.
Me to Luke last night
Hey, Clyde. This is my friend ....
Look, I'm trying to be honest here. I don't want some gal walking away...
Yeah, next Saturday afternoon at the new casa.
What are you doing? What are you doing?
...back when he fired the holes in there.
I'm one of those people that wants to try everything once.
No.
Uh, iced coffee, one Splenda, right?
You know, sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't be better if they did cheat.
That's me the summer I got out of college.
Yeah, I was-- I'm gonna split.
- Bungee jump. - Oh, I've already done that.
Okay, now don't even think about putting e tip on there.
Um, I wonder what's keeping Grace.
- Every single bit of this. - Horny old man?
if I survive, I'll worship the moon
I pretended to be asleep.
I'll die for you, I'll die for you I 'll die for you
What?
Yeah. Yeah.
Maybe we just say that we did hook up.
- What are you doing here? - Wait, wait, wait. Aunt Meg is your mom?
...so that it seems like he couldn't help but notice her ass. it's pathetic.
But why would you even try to have sex with the right Rick? He was mine.
CockGobblers.com
Oh, yeah. Good soundtrack. Pretty good movie.
Why are you with my wife?
Yes! Yes, I am. Is she okay?
Feel this.
it's a great place.
- Oh, no, they were sweet. - Yeah. No, no. Those were cute kids.
- Kind of the go-to mensch here in town. - We're okay with insurance.
You had your chance... You blew it!!
Oh, man. Oh.
I mean, I quit smoking and--
Because she can't take her eyes off the smokers over there.
Great. Let me clean up and you can follow me over.
- Ha, ha. - The first time you let them out...
I just felt like...
Okay, you better head inside now.
I'll pound his potato, you know what I mean?
Why? What's he doing there?
And you were my last.
Whatever you want.
- Hmm. - Come on, let's go say hi to Dr. Lucy.
- I don't know. We weren't planning on-- - Come on. it's gonna be fun.
You know, maybe he took a trip somewhere.
Hey Matt, this guy’s willy looks tony Compared to yours
Hey. Hey, hey, keep your chin up, okay? No one said this was gonna be easy.
I think you can get into a lot of trouble--
Flanigan’s back in town
Yeah.