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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
What guy isn't gonna wanna be with a beautiful woman...
...for a weekend, hmm?
No, how much?
- Why aren't you guys staying here? - Too pricey.
Guys, it's all right if you strike out.
...
How does your wife catch you checking out another girl?
My stomach's rumbling and I'm having these shooting pains.
Your unique barista skills have been requested.
Hey, hey, talking of babes, which one have you got your eyes on?
george i told ya not to get a string and get a tooth and pull! boing good riddance faye you goxel droxel!
Swerve! Swerve! Swerve!
Go, go, go!
- Let me log out. - You log out.
Mommy did.
Uh.... No, no. Everything's not okay. Uh.... No, no. Everything's not okay.
Gyros. However the hell you say it. Heh, heh.
Uh, you know what? I'm sorry.
...before I do the whole marriage trip, you know?
They're her kids.
What's that?
Yeah, thanks for piling on.
You know what I love about divorcées?
No, no, no. Don't be ridiculous. It was just a misunderstanding.
I can't do this. I can't do this, I'm sorry.
- I've got hall pass. I have a hall pass. - He's got a gun!
You gotta feel Rick's skin, feel how soft it is.
How about you? How long have you been off the market?
You know that moment when you're taking a girl's panties off for the very first time...
Oh, yeah? This morning you left the computer on Cock Gobblers.Com
Well, you know, the law's pretty clear on this.
It's not vicarious if you're actually doing it, Hog-Head.
Would you like to try the Australian kiss?
Sorry about that, big man.
Okay, where to now?
- I'm not stopping till I get to Grace. - Are you crazy?
I appreciate that.
Fred, go in there and take care of that woman. You're lucky to have her.
Oh, thank God, you're still awake.
Got a little bit of extra middle Right around the waist
I'm not quite sure what I'm gonna get.
I think I can do better.
Kid's right.
- Now? - Right now, man. The universe is calling.
God, she scared me to death.
Even in college it took 50 rejections for every one score.
You know what? Screw you, Fred.
Funny moment Hall pass
...that this 40-hour-week motherfucking soccer dad took my girl...
- We're a couple of show ponies, aren't we? - Yeah, we came alive!
You know what I miss the most?
Cops! Run for it! Cutters!
Because I'm a married woman, Gerry, you know that.
Come on. You're not gonna lose your job.
Okay, Paige. Enough, please.
Enjoy your two-Splenda'd iced coffee, mister. Hmm?
This guy right here's got all the loot.
Guess what. it's guys like me that hire.
You get a hand job from her, you need the Jaws of Life to get you out of it.
That's not respectful!
...he wasn't noticing me anymore.
Sorry, but if I let you in I'm gonna lose my job.
Aww what's the matter? You can't get any bigger ya little BITCH
My body just feels like jelly.
Me the first night back
Yeah. I just-- I got a little chest cramp, but I'm working through it.
And then we had kids. Emma, Gunnar and Mac.
I can't. Grace will know I'm lying. She always knows when I'm lying.
- Rick. - Rick.
Yeah, that's not what I was saying. I said--
Golly, that is soft. Hey, Hog-Head, come here, man.
What, like a trial separation? You are seriously overreacting.
If you wanna take another look...
VK
Look at those meatheads checking out Missy.
Give me a big hug and a kiss.
Maybe you were right. We should just call it quits...
Let's talk about Miley Cyrus. Who's got a stripper pole?
- You open, Rick. - I know.
I got a hall pass.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You know, this whole kind of I'm-on-the-inside, too-cool-for-school...
Gunnar and Emma stalled for a while, but they weren't too bad.
...because when I look at you, my wiener doubles in size.
- Hey, Maggie. - Hey, how's it going?
I call it headquarters.
I'll do it, okay? Tennis elbow be damned. I will do it.
Brent Westsmoreland
I mean, I can't accept this.
Oh, wait a second, Eddie. First I want to show them my headquarters.
- There. You look pretty, Daddy. - Good.
- Play through! - Play through.
A question to you, Frederick, sir.
More tongue. More tongue.
What are you, Knight Rider?
- Shit! - He's up. He's up.
- Vote? - No. The other thing.
Our first friend to win an award.
- Goodbye! - You are the man tonight.
- I love that picture. - Yeah. Yeah.
Hey, I thought you said Fred isn't a gawker.
I did a crawl-by.
- Well .... - Come on, she's scared.
This is really her call, Fred.
It's true.
You have morals.
I've gotta have a way to get the money out of the checking account.
Wasn't a question.
And?
Please don't have a nice-- Oh, come on, man.
And it's where we first got to know each other.
Unless she needs room for a $5 foot-long.
Take her wherever she wants to go. Here you are.
Aah.
No, I disagree.
- You know what Grace made me do? - What?
It'd probably be really uncool if I didn't--
- You're right, we're too stiff. - I know.
You say no to me?
- Ha, ha. You'd be Hef. - Yeah, I got that.
- Who? - Coakley.
Completely harmless. One-time thing. What would you pay?
It ain't exactly an aphrodisiac for babes.
I said, rub, no tug.
Coakley is in Arizona, attending the Hawaiian Tropic regionals.
Okay, look. Look, whatever happened this week doesn't matter. Okay?
Well, I was embarrassed for Fred, to be honest. It was uncomfortable.
Okay.
LAUGHS]
- I assume the genie could help with that? - Oh. I got you.
Okay, look. I did not stop because there's a lunatic out there trying to kill us!
I actually think it's cool of you to be staying at the Comfy Nite Inn...
- Oh. - Plus, I had a bunch of drinks at the club.
What?
No, I'll get up with the kids. I'll take them to the park.
They're home!
I mean, unless it's that weird fetish stuff where the women are, like, 40. Ha, ha.
There you are.