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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
I would be willing to pay 250 of your American dollars.
That's why this dude 's wearing the hat.
What kind of soap do you use?
All right, it's about time I take the governor off this beyotch!
How do I know if she'll come home with me?
What are you, an asshole?
I'm not telling you that. I gave him the freedom to choose for himself.
...it's probably because I kind of was.
- Come on, let's go, baby. it's time to go. - Oh, screw you!
No, I love you more.
You think Maggie might have a brain tumor or something?
- Can I help you? - You must be Rick.
You're Awesome At Sex
So did you, um, go to Harvard?
I
I think it would be good for us to go out one night a week...
Look at this fucking thing.
Yours most truly, Gerald Ahem.
Oh. Here he comes.
No.
That guy's single, he's loaded. Chicks love him.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What did they say? Is Grace gonna be okay?
Where the big-mouth vaginae Feel strange
- Hello. - Hi.
Oh, my God. You poor thing.
Hola.
That woman is my life
Where there's tits, and we look at them, and we smoke cigars.
- Mm. Okay. I'm in. Ha, ha. - Ah.
...and he waits for the girl to pass...
All right
So shape up. Good day, sir.
It was for me.
Very Disappointed, Gentlemen. Very Disappointed
I'm kidding. Fred Searing. Can I buy you a drink?
Even if she stayed, you wouldn't want her.
That is attractive.
- Yeah. - Well, that night Rick and I were gonna...
- That's it. You two are dead men. - Whoa! He's got a gun!
...doesn't mean you have to go around screwing my family.
...so remind me again, who are we married to?
- I honestly don't know. - Ballpark, please.
Making out with him is just so intimate, isn't it?
I gotta get going.
I did some recon. She's from Australia.
Always pushing up the hill Searching for the thrill of it
You know what, Rick? This is spring break.
Huh? PAIGE & MEG Aah!
You're thinking of Snow Dogs, the kiddie flick.
So come on. Just be honest. What were you trying to accomplish?
TRUMP 2020
No, no. Okay, okay! Aah.
Hey, guys, I need to take a poo.
- Take it easy, buddy. - I won't take it easy!
Every time I wake up, I think a plane's going down.
What?
Yeah. Yeah.
Hey, don't go shooting the messenger now.
This poor kid is spending his hard-earned money on me. it's sad.
Oh, it's a friend of my dad. Baseball player.
We let down the male species, you know that?
If you recall, we had to make a couple of fairly substantial expenditures. Remember?
No, no
What is your number?
I can tell you the exact day and hour that I lost mine.
I'm just gonna have to go set him straight.
- Agreed. - But you know who does?
She's taken my order before and it's--
How are you, Fred?
- Over 20 years if you include dating. - Whoa.
I like my bongos with a little mileage on them, like Britney's.
Yeah. I think you should Photoshop all of them out. Come on.
- But of course. But of course. - Four 9s.
You cheap bastard.
Hey, what the hell?
Quiet little voices
- No, no! No. Ooh. - Hey! Oh!
How much would you be willing to spend for a weekend of erotic pleasures...
Thank you.
Missy sure is looking chipper for someone going through a divorce.
Hello?
Leigh?
Well, you didn't give him a free pass for nothing.
Yeah, shoot.
We'll get there, we'll get there.
I don't know.
Oh. Wow.
Oh, hell, no!
You could do anything you want. The wife will never find out.
Yeah. It wasn't like I was trying to hide it. I mean, you know.
You spot her from 15 feet away, turn, then wait for her to walk into your line of vision.
I was 250 out. Had to get over some water. I gave it my all.
Join me down at the river. We'll listen to some tunes and suck down a few beers.
And this photograph is of me in high school.
Thank you.
Yeah, I work out at home but thinking about taking my workouts public.
What? No. No, no, no.
They're just kids in here. I don't see how they afford these prices.
Tonight's the night we'll make history
Look at Maggie, all right?
Come on, why can't we have some fun? God knows our guys are living it up.
Why not?
Why not?
What's that?
- Think your mother would give the recipe? - Gary! What are you doing?
I went to clean the house today, but nobody has been there...
- Okay, pull over, man. - No way. I can outrun them.
Coakley.
I'm joking.
Hold it!
- Follow me, fellas, for some ass. - Good. Okay. I like it.
Thank you. it's nice finally to meet a woman who's not obsessed with penis size.
We're here to tighten it up for you.
Huh?
Quiet words of wisdom
...or is it gonna be somebody he met that day or Missy Frankinopoulos?
- For what? - For what?
Hear me out, gentlemen. I can explain every-- Uh. Uh.
- He's a good guy. - He is a nice guy.
What?
That sneeze helped.
Is, uh, everything okay?
I'll see you, Jorge.
I wish I could throw up. I know it would help.
- What the hell is he doing? - Uh-oh.
Uh, yeah. I was thinking that you were gone.
Either that or she's buying her T-shirts at Baby Gap.
...but, uh, you know what?
You want a massage?
- it's because of the way guys are wired. - Oh, come on. Give me a break.
- No! - What?
I like being able to get in there and smoosh them...
You can't help if her butt walks where you're looking.
...I was talking to Judy on the drug hotline most of last night.
Can you move a little to the right, please. Nevermind, can u two just switch spots please?
Iced coffee, two Splendas.
And when they asked me if I wanted to go with them, I said, Sure.
Hog-Head McCormick said 7500.
Ah.
That girl over there is looking at you.
What? How?
Moron, this is my car!
You think that you can come into my club...
Me trying to flirt What do you squat?